CP W2 D3 Baptism and Temptation of Jesus (Matt 3:13-4:11)

(Personal note: I'm posting this as I'm visiting Holy Cross Monastery for a few days... follow along on my visit here... http://georgevisitsholycross.blogspot.com/ )

We are asked in our reading if we have ever felt like God is out to get us. I did. For several years after Billy (our youngest son) died, as much as I tried, I couldn't seem to "find" my faith. This was a complete "wilderness" period in my life. I wasn't only grieving Billy's death, but also my relationship with God - and my sense of His fairness and goodness - which had always been an important part of my life up until then. Of course, there have been other wilderness periods for me (many of them), but this one lasted almost seven years.

During my passage through it, I found that each time I tried to do something to turn back to God, He always seemed to be moving away. No church we tried seemed to fit right. No practice relating to my journey with God seemed to work. On Sunday mornings, I found my best sense of peace walking or riding along the Henry Hudson Trail.

Looking back, I now realize that God was with me the whole time, allowing me time to reflect on the loss and I can view the wilderness as a time of growth. But it was difficult while going through it. Perhaps my feeling that God was moving away as I was approaching was simply the fact that He was leading.

As today's reading says... "sometimes the desert chooses you" meaning that we can't choose the times that we feel pain and loose track of God's love. But we can turn to him - following Christ's lead - during tough times by turning to the scripture. And yes, sometimes we have to keep turning until we find the way. A friend in our Men's group says "fake it 'till you make it."

Re-read the grey box in today's pages... "There are few shortcuts in our faith journey." This is true, and even if we feel we are walking in circles, God is with us and we have a companion in Christ who has gone through the wilderness before us.